Retail Remedy, Not: The Ugly Christmas Sweater Calamities

ugly-holiday-sweaters-duo

Ugly Christmas sweaters duo

What not to wear…

Admittedly in the land of the fashion free for the holidays, where 3D crochet ornamentations and stamped-on snowflakes are the poor excuse for something cute.

I didn’t happen to stumble upon these garish and homely machine made, ugly Christmas sweaters, they were proudly displayed right up front in the big store in town, waiting for some poor sole to gobble them up and gift them to Great Aunt Tilly or have same gift them to her cherished niece.

Don’t. Stop. Say NO to fugly fashion.

You can’t even regift these shapeless atrocities. Even when worn in jest, ugly Christmas sweaters are just not funny or ironic. Demand that clothing should be both flattering to the wearer and pleasant to look at too. Don’t assume that ugly Christmas sweaters are only reserved for women, think back to Bridget Jones’ Diary for an upfront deal breaker.

The classic 3D, ugly Christmas sweater instantly adds a very ungainly 15 years and creates an image of a person who is far from savvy about style. It is the fashion equivalent of being on the brink of a nervous breakdown. And, those bright white mock turtlenecks that “they” wear with their Christmas vests… well, it makes your teeth look even more yellow.

If consumers stop buying unflattering, ill shaped, and hokey fashion don’ts just because that is all that is available in their town, the store buyers will eventually get the hint and start stocking clothing worth wearing. This stuff, I can’t even call it fashion, is actually insulting and demeaning. Who can take someone seriously when she has bulbous knit munchkins prancing along some reindeers across her bust? It’s not fun, it’s not festive, it’s just dopey. You are what you wear and you don’t want to be perceived as foolish. You deserve better, something that shows off your sophistication as a being a grown-up.

While on the subject of themed holiday clothing, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the flight attendant who was wearing a peplum vest handmade from a Christmas patterned tablecloth or maybe dish towels. Oy! Please do celebrate the holidays in style- you really deserve to look your best. Have a great one…

–December 23, 2008

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