What men’s underwear says about his personality… Tightie-whities or Daddy-O boxers, that is the question

March 03, 2005

My girlfriends and I are having a fun little debate about what kind of guy wears what kind of mens underwear. It’s really more of what-if question rather than the need to conduct our own private focus group- although that could be interesting! We really would like some expert insight about whether you can tell a guy’s personality from the type of underwear he wears.

(Reno, NV)

Well, expert insight on men’s undies is a loaded criteria that we here would rather take the fifth on! As our own cryptic undercover agent, we were able ask men and draw conclusions about what a guy’s drawers say about his personality. Random as this survey may be, we can assure that dropping trou was not a prerequisite.

- Tighty-whities or gray, black, or some other neutral color brief, whether classic Fruit of the Loom or a designer version means the guy most likely tries to hang on to his youth. Mr. Party On is probably frisky and fun-loving and in pretty descent shape. Hopefully, he doesn’t have Sponge Bob printed on the rear of his brief!

- Boxer briefs, with a long, tight leg, show a more athletic side and a guy who is willing to experiment just a bit from classic Jockey. Knit boxers look particularly hot on muscular legs.

- Boxers are a pretty bourgeois choice for any guy under 50 in relatively good shape. Old school Europeans do love their boxers, but stateside, the guy’s political beliefs are probably more right to center. Who knows, he may be a wild man privately and an uptight conservative in manner, however, a straightforward man who is what he is can’t be beat. Be leery of any man who wears silky boxers with little hearts on them, particularly when they are not a gift from you.

- Skimpy little bikinis or thongs are pretty gross on a guy- it’s like he is over-promoting his package and truly has only one thing on his mind. The bare minimum becomes super repulsive when the guy’s bod is anything less than that of the model on a 2(x)ist package. Shiny, nylon underwear is just plain creepy and a little too seventies playboy for our taste.

- As for “Los sans culottes,” no underwear in any pant that is not washable kind of makes our skin crawl. You could say the guy is either a free-spirit or too cheap to buy an extra item of clothing.

- About men who prefer to wear women’s underwear, well, that’s off our charts.

--March 03, 2005