PANTYHOSE
SLIP-UPS

Legs

• Dear Sharon: A co-worker and I have a fashion disagreement that I hope you can resolve. Today, I wore a knee length skirt with high heel mules. I have on neutral pantyhose with the outfit. My co-worker said that pantyhose are inappropriate even though the shoes are not open toe. Can you please give us your input on whether pantyhose should be worn with mules or not? Thanks. - All Reared Up About Hose (Birmingham, AL)
  
  
  Dear All Reared Up: Oooh, sweet sister of misbegotten style, pleaaaze don't be an ass when it comes to mules. For those living in fashion oblivion, mules, and its twin, the slide, are backless shoes and just not a hosiery kinda thing. Wearing sheer pantyhose with mules is akin to wearing an ankle bracelet under pantyhose or tube socks with sandals. Some folks do it, but it just isn't right.
  
  They are like dainty, sexy slippers; the allure is to wear mules with bare legs. Pantyhose, simply clutters the line. And talk about getting a grip… as a matter of practicality, don't you feel like you are about to slip and break your neck wearing slithery hose with hardly supportive mules? A bare foot is what grips your foot to the shoe and keeps the mules from being treacherous.
  
  Recently, fashion has shown this type of shoe in cooler months. It was during a fashion moment when going bare legged was absolutely hip and wearing pantyhose was a fashion faux pas, or more likely a sign that you really were just not part of the fashion cognoscenti. 'Nuff said about being in. I know it is totally stupid to go sans hose in frigid temperature but it was a sign that you were cooler than thou.
  
  I will let you on a little fake-it secret from when I was a photography fashion stylist: Hanes Silk Reflections pantyhose in Travel Buff looks nude on most skintones.
  
  Now style has gone the complete pirouette. Pantyhose is out of the closet and baaaaaack on legs-but still never with mules. Suddenly, a girl could get giddy trying to decide which pair of hose to wear. Start to think about bold toned fishnets, saturated colored tights, graphic patterns, lacey textures, and simple sheers.
  please pay heed to some more hose no's:
  
  · White stockings worn with anything other than a nurse's uniform.
  · Ivory opaque hose… the yuppie misnomer for classic sheer.
  · Pantyhose with socks, sneakers, and a suit.
  · Thick pantyhose seams vertically protruding from skintight dresses.
  · Too tiny elastic waistbands visibly suffocating your midsection.
  · Upper portion of pantyhose prominently poking out of hip huggers.
  · Forgoing sheer-to-waist hose with shorter skirts and parading the hose'sheavier thigh-to-waist panel that resembles a tackyimpersonation of a bike short.
  · Exposing reinforced toes and heels.
  · Snags, runs, pulls, and pills-particularly ones you are attempting to muzzle with a dab of crackly nail polish.
  . That orangey shade of "nude" hose that makes all legs look creepy.
  · Thigh highs acting as sausage casing to pudgy thighs.
  · Knee socks on anyone over 15 years old unless when worn with a school uniform.
  · Hose that bags at ankles, knees, or anywhere.
  · Hairy, stubbly leg hair matted under sheer hose.
  
  Pat yourself on your impeccably clad back, sheer hose with sandals or open shoes is another hose no. Now, go on and saunter in style!